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Discover who you are, what you love and how to get started with Rosanna Tomiuk, former professional athlete turned high performance coach.
coaching, high performance, leadership, personal development, goals, dreams, failure, perseverance, determination, discipline,
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I had someone continuously ask me questions one night at a party as if following a structure she was taught rather than being genuinely interested in me. She 'listened' to me the whole time, but I didn't feel connected. It felt fake. It's Barbara Walters' 85th birthday, and I just read something by her that describes what I couldn't describe about how I felt that night. Thanks, Barbara. Happy Birthday. I happen to disagree with the well-entrenched theory that the art of conversation is merely the art of being a good listener. Such advice invites people to be cynical with one another and full of fake; when a conversation becomes a monologue, poked along with tiny cattle-prod questions, it isn’t a conversation any more. It is a strained, manipulative game, tiring and perhaps even lonely. Maybe the person doing the talking enjoys himself at the time, but I suspect he’ll have uncomfortable...

I remember different times throughout my water polo career where I wished I'd had more influence. I wanted to be a better leader for my teammates and would think of ways to become that. The things is, I overthought it sometimes because it's really simple: You become a leader when you get results.   I could have strategized until the cows came home, but if I wasn't getting results in the pool, which was the main reason we'd come together as a group of girls, it didn't matter how many books I read on leadership. The reality is, and my mistake has often been, that too often good-hearted people waste time thinking of how to make an impact when developing mastery in their field of work would automatically do that very effectively. If you want to influence the people around you, get results. Talk is cheap.   [caption id="attachment_2586" align="aligncenter" width="300"] © Tunguska[/caption]...

You shouldn't spill it, right? If you tell your secret, everyone will know, and then they can become successful too - maybe even more successful than you. I've felt that way before. It's not an uncommon train of thought. I just read the forward of a book on screenwriting by one of the best spec screenwriters of all time (Save The Cat, Blake Snyder), where the publisher jokes with the author, saying, "Are you sure you want publish this book? You're going to up the competition!" But then I thought of all the people offering amazing advice on how to get to where they are. Like Von Wong, a photographer who does behind-the-scene videos of his photo shoots, so people can learn new techniques. So, what to do. What to do! What's the best practice? The other side of the coin is - when you offer your secrets, you become a helper of humanity. It's not the telling...

Have you ever noticed how kids build sandcastles only to bulldoze them over with excitement a moment later, whereas adults try to preserve most of what we  build? In other words, adults are precious about things while kids are precious about experiences. My friend shared this idea with me a few weeks ago, and it's been haunting me ever since. Why must I cling on to stuff? Why don't I let go? I'm packing for a move, and I'm thinking I'd like to let go. Maybe this is my chance. So, I'm giving stuff away like never before. I've lived here for ten months, and I swear you'd think it's ten years with all these bags. I have three guitars - surely I can give one away. I haven't worn this pair of pants for two years - it's out. All these Lululemon tanks - if I ain't wearing them, why am I...

Have you ever given yourself a chance to quiet your soul, ambitions, and the constant chatter in your brain? Last week I escaped to the Jervis Inlet in British Columbia for a retreat with some fellow writers, musicians, entrepreneurs, etc. I had no idea what to expect, but what I found was…an intervention!!! Since retiring from the Canadian Women’s Water Polo Team, I’ve been moving pretty fast, attempting to solidify who I am now that I’m not a full-time athlete. I’ve been chasing goal after goal after goal, which has made it difficult to hear the quiet whisper of my soul. I haven't made the time to consider what I really, really want for my life. And it was pretty tough, perhaps even scary, to realize I haven’t been totally listening. But it’s also life-giving and freeing. It allows you to let go of who you used to be to become who you are right now. I...

Last week my friend posted this photo on Instagram: I laughed (my company is called THIS IS ME ha!), felt pity and then gleaned some insight. It’s true sometimes, isn’t it? Some people need to become everything other than who they've been being. So, what's going on? The problem is, 'Being yourself' has two clear components we mistakenly mesh into one. When we express who we are, we are expressing not only our personality but also our character. When it comes to personality, you should always be yourself. Run with it! Be the most extraordinarily unique person on the planet, gosh darnit! But when it comes to your character, only be who your values say you are. Your values create a playing field for your personality. Like any sport, if there ain't any rules, there's no game, people! Otherwise, on a whim you might want to behave according to your feelings, an impulse, a...

Last week I spoke to a group of high school girls about who they were - to themselves, to each other and for the world. As I closed off my talk, I asked them what would be different in the world if they lived their lives to the fullest? And what would the world miss out on if they didn't? In other words, what's at stake?! In the art of story-telling, the main character has an ambition, and there is something at stake when it comes to whether or not their ambition is fulfilled. There are two types of stakes - philosophical and external.  If someone's ambition is to free child soldiers, for example, the external stakes are kids freed vs. kids in captivity, and the philosophical stakes are justice vs. injustice (among others).  Furthermore, in the best stories, the stakes are high. For example, freeing thousands of child soldiers has higher external...

I was at a local pool last week for an event and thought it might be strategic to complete a swim workout when it was over since I was already poolside. When I jumped into the ‘very fast’ lane during public swim, I discovered it wasn’t very fast at all. I had trouble doing my swim sets properly due to slow swimmers, and when a grampa-man started stretching and rotating his hips in his saggy Speedo outside my ‘very fast’ lane, I thought, "You best not jump in this lane, grampa!!!" I was frustrated. It happened again a few days afterward when I chose to go cycling on the Lachine Canal in Montreal on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I needed to bang out a quick 40KM before a meeting, but I continually had to break, slow-down and pass people on the narrow path. Kids were biking while giggling and gazing at...

Sometimes when we’re out walking the city, my step-dad grabs my mom, pulls her in, dips her down and gives her a kiss. My mom squeals, “Stop!” like a little school girl. My step-dad is not phased by her pushing him back because he sees the reality - she has a huge smile on her face. My boyfriend is the same in that at any given moment, he may have a whimsical thought he wants to suddenly execute on, and I’ll think, “Waiiiiit, what’s the plan!?” He’ll do something spontaneously, and I’ll find myself thinking, “Wow!” juxtaposed with, “What is he doing?!?!!? Stop!” And I think that’s where the growth is. The moments that grow us are moments where there’s tension. There is mix of wonder and “Stop!!!”. We’re being stretched from who we are, from what’s normal, to another possibility that brings forth discomfort yet wonder. I see it in my mom, and...