14 Oct 5 Things You Can Do This Weekend To Know Yourself Better
When life gets busy, which seems to be the norm for everyone, we can begin to operate on a surface level and not be connected to who we really are. It’s almost like we’re asleep or on auto-pilot.
Is this dangerous? Is it ok?
Socrates (and others) said, “Know Thyself.”
But why? What’s the point of digging deeper to understand and connect better with ourselves?
I’ve been reading The Road Back To You, by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanna Stabile, and they provide a pretty insightful answer:
“Most folks assume they understand who they are but they don’t…They don’t question the lens through which they see the world – where it came from, how it’s shaped their lives, or even if the vision of reality it gives them is distorted or true. Even more troubling, most people aren’t aware of how things that helped them survive as kids are now holding them back as adults. They’re asleep…What we don’t know about ourselves can and will hurt us, not to mention others…As long as we stay in the dark about how we see the world and the wounds and beliefs that have shaped who we are, we’re prisoners of our history. We’ll continue going through life on autopilot doing things that hurt and confuse ourselves and everyone around us. Eventually we become so accustomed to making the same mistakes over and over in our lives that they lull us to sleep. We need to wake up.”
So, here are 5 things you can do this weekend to get to know yourself better:
1. Ask someone you trust what they feel your strengths are. You can tell them it’s part of a personal challenge to get to know yourself better (in case you feel it may be a bit out of the blue to just randomly ask). Once they give you their answer, ask yourself if you see what they see. Are you missing seeing something beautiful about yourself, perhaps writing it off as ‘normal’ ’cause you’ve been hanging out with yourself your whole life?
2. (Ok, deep breath.) Ask someone you trust what they feel your weaknesses are. Man, this is so telling! It may be eye-opening or confirming. For example, my little brother has been telling me for a long time now that one of my weaknesses is that I’m judgmental. When my boyfriend said the same thing, it was confirming. But look, I don’t want you to stress out about this. I know it sucks to hear bad stuff about ourselves, but everyone (even Superman!) has weaknesses. A lot of times they’re simply an overaccentuation of a strength. Once you get your answer, reflect. Do you feel it’s true? What’s one thing you can do to bring a little bit more health to your life in this area?
3. Ask yourself what you fear most. This is a simple one, but because we’re all so darn busy, we don’t take the time to stop and ask ourselves. The crazy thing is, sometimes what you fear the most is linked to what you want the most. Thomas Merton said, “What you fear is an indication of what you seek.” If I’m afraid to die alone as an old cat lady, then what I want is a loving family. If you feel that you’re lacking desire, look at what you fear, and there you’ll find desire. Reconnect to that desire, engaged to make it a reality, but not attached to it in a way that makes you a slave.
4. Become aware of what pain you have not dealt with. I’m not saying you have to deal with it this weekend, I’m just saying try to become aware of it. That’s the first step. Most of the time, the pain we’re not dealing with is poking its head through our lives and causing us more pain. We’re still hurting from having been betrayed in our last relationship, so we’re completely closed in our new relationship. That’s pain poking through alright! The thing is, just acknowledging it, like telling your new partner that’s the case, will create a whole new context of grace and understanding even if you’re not ready to fully deal with it.
5. Reflect on what makes you jealous. What makes us jealous is also a reflection of what we want or perhaps a gift we have that we’re not expressing. I’m not jealous of my boyfriend becoming a pilot, but I can be jealous of people building unconventional careers. I want an unconventional career, I don’t want to become a pilot. Jealousy, like fear, can be an arrow in the direction of your Calling. Now, that’s positive!
So, are you up for the challenge? You can do all of it in less than an hour! I’d love to know what you discover. Share in the comments below or send me a message. Sending you love!!!